Adverts From Hell

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Her handsome profile is silhouetted against the bright lights of the big city for a bit. She feels downhearted that such a wonderful array of garish lighting is unavailable to her in the rainforest. Probably having seen some pissed Portuguese tourists scaling Eros, she decides to do some acrobatics in Piccadilly Circus. She looks briefly devastated about the idea of onshore wind power.

What is it that really offends people about adverts?

You can find out how — but not quite why — SSE made this advert by clicking here. It involves a man bouncing around on his hands and knees for money. And don't say looking at energy through fresh eyes bullshit Where did you get it? We would be outraged too, but we have no idea what "biophilia" means.

Is he suggesting people want to have sex with the orangutan? Because that is a bit gross. No real monkeys [sic] were used. Sign up. It certainly turns me off the product. So what were they thinking when these ads were conceived?

Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage - Page - Commercials - PRIMETIMER

Well, let's ask. AMV BBDO, who created the polar bear, told me: "During development of the campaign we thoroughly tested the polar bear and had overwhelmingly positive feedback. And our research suggests it could be the most successful Birds Eye campaign in the last 20 years.

Australia Tourism Ads (1984 - 2010)

Most successful in 20 years — and it's already won a marketing award — so what do I know? Not much, beyond the fact that this hell-blasted advert, by making a kitchen seem so eerie and threatening, gave me all sorts of crazy thoughts about Tales of the Unexpected-style domestic murder.

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Note to self: kill wife before she kills you. Or at least get a divorce. On a broader note: why are puppet characters in commercials so incredibly creepy, so hideous and unappealing? They always have been, right back to the horrendous and surreal Softmints ad , which was like something fantastical and loathsome that had leaked out of the darkest, strangest corner of Salvador Dali's id.

And this isn't just my neuroses speaking. Here's a quote from a Mr Soft page on Facebook : "As a child I had a recurring and horrific nightmare about this advert. I was chased around my house by Mr Soft, no matter how fast I ran I could not escape him, despite his slow bouncy walk. Eventually I would run into the bathroom where he would trip and smash his head on the bidet. His head would then shatter as if a hard, chalky mint and my nightmare would be over … until next time. I think ad puppets are spooky in the same way that clowns are: they're ostensibly childlike and fun and innocent, but there's a subliminal feeling of menace, the sense of a rotten core underneath the sugar-sweet surface, which makes it twice as bad.

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He said: "Characters based on animals which are normally cuddly — like polar bears — which suddenly start talking in a threatening manner are extra creepy. You'd expect a snake or a jackal to be creepy, but a polar bear? So why do advertisers continue to use them?

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Is it because puppets have transnational appeal, transcending cultural and linguistic barriers? Surprisingly, no. Many are surreal, and surrealism has a long heritage in advertising.

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