Yes You Can!

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Roth says he may have done that on purpose. The scamp.

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I pronounce it Wooster like the town in MA -sure. According to this AOL article —and what more trustworthy source could there be for such inquiries, apart from the official Colgate toothpaste website? I bet it would be an adventure. Would you rather have toenails for teeth, or teeth for toenails?

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Teeth for toenails. Also, everyone would see those toothnails. No way to hide them.

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Just a fucking nightmare all around. So I would have teeth for toenails. That happens to guys, where your toes sprout patches of Austin Powers chest hair and the skin around your toenails gets all cracked and red. I go to the gym every day and am subjected to the sight of toenail fungus cases on other men that no one should ever have to witness firsthand.

Fucking horrifying.

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Swapping teeth in there would almost be an improvement over the current state of human anatomy. My wife is pregnant with our son. My dad and grandfather were both lifelong Bills fans. Our son will grow up in LA and be lured by the Rams. Am I obligated by tradition and family legacy to try to raise him as a Bills fan or can I save him the heartache and not even try? Let him sort out his own team, if he even ends up liking football at all. I know I do. I am fine with this. We live near D. Just to spite me. I wanted him to be free to make his own choices and live with them, and so he has.

Natural consequences , amigo. Leave him be and maybe he becomes the seventh Chargers fan to exist in L. Special little guy! I am curious if you could go a whole month using just one roll of toilet paper.

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Co-workers say no but I think it would be a slam dunk. Am I missing something here? So I could not make a roll of TP last a month. Especially a single roll. Toilet paper now comes in Double Stuf quilted rolls that are so thick that they get stuck in the little TP holder indent in my bathroom wall. Then I try to get some and the paper tears off with a single tug. Then I swear loudly. I could maybe make one of those rolls of Maxi-Charmin last through the next world war.

But a regular, single roll? I used to run out of TP when I was single. I would sit down to take a shit, without flossing, and realize the roll was on its final spin, with no reinforcements ready under the sink. One time I had to waddle to the kitchen and grab some paper towels to use. I have not yet recovered.

I think guacamole is probably my choice. You put that out on a spread and my eyes go right to it. I am helpless against its powers. Here are my rankings, independent of an old post Jolie Kerr did on the same topic:. Crab dips are ubiquitous in Maryland, but a lot of those crab dips are just artichoke dip with a more expensive ingredient swapped in. Also, a lot of people swear by buffalo chicken dip. Do you think you could count, out loud, for 24 straight hours without stopping? What do I look like, a cocaine addict? I would give up counting after seconds, if not sooner. I have no patience. Ages ago, I did the pushups regimen and worked my way into being able to do more than 50 at a time I swear!

The latter sounds like a brag. I lose count. I get antsy. I want to go get a snack. I deserve to be scammed. Am I related to either group in this scenario? Because I live with my kids all year round and am still sane. But then I go up to visit my folks and start lashing out at them after roughly 48 hours.

Would you rather be stuck on a flight with little kids or old fogies? Sure, old people are all intractable assholes whose past professional actions and current electoral actions have almost certainly brought about the literal demise of mankind as a whole. Now the obnoxious kids AND their shithead parents annoy me in equal measure. Does Heineken count as a cheap beer? Probably not. Among mass-produced cheap beer, Rolling Rock has the most uneven taste-to-packaging ratio.

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  • The bottle is cool. The beer is grizzly piss. It was probably my favorite beer, period. This was in Dallas, so I assume they were used to the question.

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    • I still felt like an asshole. If you somehow lucked your way into billions of dollars, hopefully without sacrificing your soul to the devil, what type of sports franchise would be the best to own? Oh, a football team.

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